Often pregnancy and postpartum are portrayed as this calm, glowing, deeply meaningful chapter of life. 

In reality it often feels like… a total mess. 

It’s mid-morning. The baby is finally asleep for their nap. This is the moment you were told to “sleep when the baby sleeps.” Instead, you’re standing in the kitchen staring into the fridge, left-over breakfast disaster around you, forgetting why you walked in there in the first place. 

Your coffee is cold. Again. 

There’s laundry in the washer that you’ve already forgot about. You haven’t showered, but you’ve somehow cried – maybe because the baby smiled, maybe because you dropped a spoon, maybe because you genuinely don’t know. 

You love this tiny human more than you knew was possible, but you’d really like five uninterrupted minutes where no one needs to be fed, changed, soothed, or touched. 

You scroll your phone and see photos of other parents looking calm, rested, and suspiciously put together. Everyone else seems to be “soaking it all in.” You’re just trying to remember if you brushed your teeth today. 

Then the thought sneaks in. Why is this so much harder for me than everyone else? 

And right behind it comes the guilt. 

I wanted this. 

I should be grateful. 

Other people seem to be able to handle it. 

What is wrong with me? 

Some parents feel connected and settled during pregnancy or postpartum. But that’s not the case for everyone, or even most of us. For many, this season feels heavy, overwhelming, lonely and emotionally confusing. Often it’s all of that at once. 

So… how are things really feeling for you right now? 

There are so many things that come together to create a perfect storm: 

  • Sleep deprivation (impacts mood, patience, and emotional regulation) 
  • Hormonal changes that make everything feel bigger and harder and out of our control 
  • Anxiety that won’t shut off, even when the baby is sleeping or when “everything is OK” 
  • A huge identity shift – becoming someone new while missing who you used to be
  • The mental load and uneven division of labour that quietly builds resentment towards your partner  

So yeah — it’s pretty easy for what’s supposed to be a “beautiful” season to feel incredibly overwhelming. 

Pregnancy and postpartum are hard. 

You’re not the only one who struggles with wanting to enjoy this time while also feeling depleted, anxious, or unlike yourself. 

Tips to survive pregnancy & postpartum (especially when you’re carrying way too much) 

1. Name the overwhelm instead of assuming something is wrong with you. 

A lot of new parents feel anxious, irritable, emotional, or burned out and assume they’re doing something wrong. But often, what’s actually happening is overwhelming. From chronic sleep deprivation, constant responsibility, emotional labour and decision fatigue. From feeling “on” all 

the time. 

Overwhelm doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means your system has been under pressure for a long time. 

2. Talk honestly about the mental load and unfair division of labour. 

Many new moms aren’t just physically caring for their baby. They’re managing appointments, tracking feeds and sleep, noting when supplies are low, planning meals, remembering birthdays, coordinating childcare, and regulating the emotional temperature of their household. 

Even in loving and connected relationships, this invisible labour often falls unevenly. 

If things feel unfair at home, that doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It often means expectations were never clearly named – and so our default cultural roles kicked in. 

3. Stop treating rest like a reward you have to earn. 

Rest is not a reward for productivity or completing your to-do list. Rest a basic human need. Especially in a season where everything is never fully done (and never will be!). Even short moments of rest matter and here are some helpful tips: 

Sitting in stillness for five minutes instead of multi-tasking. 

Closing your eyes for two minutes and breathing deeply. 

Letting someone else take over — even if they do things differently. 

4. Learn to recognize when guilt is lying to you. 

Guilt is loud in early parenthood. Especially for moms. Some guilt is helpful (it can help us understand what’s important to us), but most of it is not. If guilt is telling you your needs don’t matter or that you should be coping better, it’s worth questioning. 

Ask yourself: 

Is this guilt helping me live by my values – or keeping me exhausted and silent? 

5. Lower the bar especially at home. 

There’s pressure to do it all. 

To keep the house running. 

To be emotionally available. 

To look like you’re coping. 

Lowering the bar isn’t giving up. It’s choosing sanity in a demanding season. 

6. Make yourself non-negotiable. 

You don’t need elaborate self-care. You need reminders that you still matter. 

That might look like: 

  • A therapy session 
  • A walk alone 
  • Drinking your coffee while it’s still warm
  • Time where you’re not responsible for anyone else (even small moments can be helpful if used mindfully with full presence)  

Pregnancy and postpartum were never meant to be done alone. 

If this season feels heavier than expected, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means you’re human and you could use some support. 

We are here to help.